#MentalHealthMonday

Passengers

14/01/2017

We crawled into 2017 nearly two weeks ago now, and the resolutions are slipping already. Diets are loosening, savings are dwindling and our lives are slowly falling back into the same routine that we are so comfortable with. 

I have spent the last twenty-three years of my life trying to be what I thought everybody else would want to see. I sit on the train of life every day and I am pulled into other peoples stations. I have become angry, frustrated and numb with the journey, and I am tired of the view outside my window. Thats not saying that I share my journey with commuters who pull me down, more, I forget to look up from my seat to take in my surrounding. I am enclosed within my own little bubble; headphones in, oblivious to everything. But, as my 2016 commute to life drew to an end, I began to think where my next journey would take me, the commuters I would share it with, and how I would conduct myself in the carriage around me.

2017 for me pulled into the station, and I was the only person onboard. I spent my new years eve alone, and I wasn’t sad about it. Okay, I lie, I was really sad about it, but it was one of the best nights of reflection I’ve had in a long time. I took myself to my desk and I got out the new notebook my mum and dad had got me for Christmas, and I began to layout my goals for the year ahead. I listed every achievement I wanted to cross off, from travelling to Australia to buying some nice shoes. Everything big and small went onto my list, things that to most people are probably really small and not that noteworthy – but that’s where I think I’ve gone right. We spend out NYE reflecting upon the past 365 days, counting all those moments that changed us forever – and aren’t they always huge milestones? After spending the last year of my life measuring my successes – and my downfalls – through huge moments in my life, I forgot to remember all of those small, tiny minutes that made me who I am – and I am so frustrated with myself.

SO the next 12 months are about personal development and achieving goals of all sizes. They’re about boarding the train and enjoying the journey. I have mentioned this before, but I have finally pledged myself to Australia. In October or November, I will be swapping the train of life for a transatlantic jet plane and I will be living in another country for three months with my best friend and her family.  I couldn’t be more ready. 


I bet you have all made 2017 resolutions, we are all guilty of such sin. But, maybe you should adjust them, throw some of the smaller things onto your list. Want to try out that new restaurant in the city? Add it to your list. Want to try a new fruit? Well, my dear, add it to your list. I have started a new notebook full of goals great and small for the year ahead, and when I complete one, I cross it off, so that next new year when I am alone I can reflect upon all of my achievements. 


Sometimes, I think we all need to look up from our laps and take in the view from outside the train on our journey. Looking out of the window from our seats, we can count the trees, we can find shapes in the clouds and we can watch all of life pass by, focusing less on our long journey, and more about how we are all passengers on this train. 

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