These days, you are more likely to find me asking boys on Tinder what biscuit they’d be given the choice than you are to find my typing away on DanCooleDaily. Honestly, next time you meet a potential love interest, ask them what biscuit they’d be and more importantly, why – it really is a telling question, sifting through the rich teas to find yourself a HobNob.
I’d be a Jammie Dodger by the way, if I were given the choice. Why? Because I have this really tough exterior but the most softest of hearts once you finally break down the defensive crumbs.
I have opened blank document after blank document over the last two months. Trying to find words that I feel like I’ve lost. There was a time over the last 18 months where blogging became second nature to me. I started to get used to you guys looking at me for support, I learned how to smile when I received compliments. I even started enjoying the whole coding and website building side of it all. But then, one Wednesday morning, I panicked.
I suddenly realised that I had become sort of a role model within mental health. Honestly, I am no poster child. I have made more mistakes when it comes to mine – and others – mental health than I dare to think about it. I guess it’s all a learning curve. But never the less, it scared me.
So many things were starting to fall into place for 2018 with DanCooleDaily that I began to feel a little…overwhelmed? I have recently stepped onboard as a media ambassador or AdoptionUK – which is a huge, huge achievement. I finally get to help others with a service that wasn’t around for myself growing up in the world of adoption and foster care. I get to talk at events and write for their website and even take part in media interviews for a charity that could have saved me a lot of tears over the last 24 years – and that is phenomenal. I am also working on a number of projects with various brands and companies for next year, as well as working on a new blogging series of my own.
I don’t know where I am actually going with this, but you could argue that everything I had wanted to achieve when I purchased my internet real estate nearly two years ago. So why have I been struggling so much behind the scenes?
I think it’s mainly in part to the fear of failure. Yup, that cliché in the life of Daniel Coole. For some unknown reason, I have this fear of failing that creeps into every aspect of my life. It goes hand in hand with the wave of emotions that lead me to feeling not good enough. It’s all one, huge negative cycle. I am scared that I will begin to find success in my life and something will rear it’s ugly head and I’ll be back at square one, failing and miserable.
That was until last week.
You see, I stepped outside of my comfort zone, and then some.
DanCooleDaily has been nominated for a U.K Blog Award.
I have been nominated for a U.K Blog Award in the Health & Social Care category. It’s still sinking in. No, I haven’t won yet. Yes, I still have to be shortlisted into the top 8. But this recognition alone has lit a fire in this potatoes tummy.
I am starting to realise that I am good enough. That it should never have been about anybody else standards, instead more about producing work that I am proud of. I used to feel passionate with every single post that went live.
Your votes are crucial for the award. Even if I only get shortlisted in the top 8, it will be more than enough. I will walk away happy, knowing that over the last 18 months I have helped some of you. Above helping you, I have also helped myself. The last year and a half have involved two website changes, nearly 1,500 of you have subscribed via email, a media ambassador deal and numerous emails of thank yous and stories shared from you all.
But it has also allowed me to open up in ways I never knew possible. It has allowed myself and my parents to have more honest and open conversations. It’s allowed me to step outside of many comfort zones and into the unknown.
Yes, I still feel sad. I still miss James most days. I still find bitterness in my birth mother leaving me. I’m still sad that some days I take steps back. But I am dealing with it all in new ways. Ways that allow me to understand and accept myself more. And that is all down to this little website and you, my favourite people on this planet.
If you would like to vote, it takes less than two minutes. Head to the website by clicking here, fill in your name, your email address and finally select ‘Health & Social Care’ as the category.
Thank you for believing in me when I didn’t believe in myself.
Thank you for giving me and my mental health a platform.
Oh and also, I am really sorry that I have been so distant recently. I promise you I am back. I promise you there are two blog posts coming your way every week.
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