I feel like I start a lot of my blog posts like this but…the last year of my life has been utter chaos.
This time last year I was gearing up for a holiday to Florida and looking forward to graduation. I was entering my last semester at university and I wasn’t really sure where I would head to next. Still, one year on, I am unsure as to where I am heading next in my life, but I know it involves travelling 9000 miles.
I have spent the majority of the last decade dreaming of being back with my best friend. She lives overseas you see and we met by a chance encounter over ten years ago. I have seen her periodically over the last 10 years, but distance and time zones means that we have very sporadic catch ups.
Like I said, the last year of my life has been a hard challenge with my heart being broken from many different angles. I am not ready to face the world just yet, I feel like running away from it all.
So thats what I am going to do.
Ever since I have been earning money I have been threatening to book a flight. But between a job, two degrees, a cat and a relationship, it’s been hard. But over the last 365 days slowly but surely it has began to unravel to nothing. My life in England is stale. It’s not what it used to be. I’m not what I used to be. So in February, payday rolled around and I decided to book a one way flight to Australia.
As I pressed the confirm payment button, my shoulders stopped feeling heavy. I stopped feeling like life was just a one way road until the end. I was no longer boxed in. I am in the prime of my life, and I am ready to try something new. Something crazy. Yes, I know it’s not that crazy to visit Australia. Yes, I know that 80% of people my age have done the whole travelling thing. But I am not like most people my age.
You see, I always had it in my head that I would be married with kids and a mortgage by 28. I always have, and always will see 28 as my golden age. I am not sure why. Maybe it’s because I just know that by 28, I will have most of my shit together. But I always thought that to have it together you needed to have the stable career, the loving husband / wife and the adorable sound of little feet on the kitchen floor. I wanted two dogs. I wanted to live in a beautiful detached house just outside the city. That was my happy.
Then, one day, it wasn’t my happy.
The last twelve months have taught me a lot, but the most important lesson I have learned is that life can take you in many different directions, and you can struggle all you want. You can resist the changes. You can live in a world of make believe. You can convince yourself that you still have time for the sound of tiny feet and the detached house on the outskirts of the city. But life will always win. We are born on a path, and we don’t get to decide the directions. We just walk, thinking that it is our way, and thinking that we can decide which turn to take. But we can’t.
I think I was always meant to end up 9000 miles away from home at the age of 24. When I look back on my life, I realise that Australia has always been the plan. I just kept making excuses. Life just kept getting in the way. I also realise now that Australia was always meant to happen in November. I am out of excuses, I am out of reasons not to. I no longer crave the comfort of my own bed in my own detached house.
On the 20th of February, I decided to bite the bullet and click confirm payment.
On the 3rd of November, I will be leaving my life in England behind in search of the sunshine, the spiders and most of all, myself.
I plan on spending three months with my best friend. We all have best friends, right? But we also all have that one best friend. The one that no time, no distance, no excuses can get in the way of? I believe I was always meant to meet mine. I believe that the way she came to live with us after only knowing each other a short while was meant to be. She picked me up. She helped me grow. She allowed me to try my first taste of vodka. She was also my first kiss. Ha. She lives in Australia, but that doesn’t stop us. It never has.
Anyway, we are going to explore, we are going to catch up and we are most definitely going to laugh.
If there is one person who can help me find myself, it’s her.
When I return, I will be jobless, I will probably have no money and I will be living back with my parents. For the first time ever though, I don’t care. Life is for living. We aren’t born to die. We are born to explore and to grow and to challenge ourselves. Can we really get to know ourselves if we get stuck in a routine? How are we ever going to know that there is a whole world out there, metaphorically and physically, if we only ever look out from the same window?
Get your tickets booked. Get yourself and your life and your suitcase and go exploring. Theres a whole world of knowledge out there.
Ciao. Adios. Bon Voyage. Auf Wiedersehen. Au Revoir
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