If there is one thing that I have learnt in my short life so far, it is that you can’t always please everybody. I still to this day try my hardest to please people but I am certainly better at telling myself that I don’t have to. I spent my teenage years trying to mould myself to be the person that I thought people wanted me to be – or the person that would impress the most.
As I started my degree I started to realise that I didn’t have to. I don’t know if it was because I was a few years older than most first years on my course, or that I was already coming to university with everything I wanted from my life – a place to live, a loving family, a boyfriend, some strong friendships and a cat. All that was missing was a degree and that is what I had come to do. It felt more like a task to complete than a social want. Of course, I have made a handful of friends along the way and I am so grateful for that, but I also made a few enemies.
My lack of appearances at the social nights, my outspoken personality and my unwillingness to believe bullshit have meant that in my three years I have ruffled a few feathers. Am I sorry? Not at all. I am proud of myself for remaining the person I was when I started. I am proud with the friends that I have made. Together, we are a no bullshit kind of group, like if the Cheetah Girls were a bit harder. What I am more proud of, however, is that I never once had to slay anybody to get where I am. Of course, like everyone, I enjoy a bit of a gossip over the garden fence..but I never had to bring anyone down to build myself up. And that brings me to the main point of this blog…
Blowing Out Somebody Else’s Candle Does Not Make Yours Shine Any Brighter.
One of my many life mottos. One of the mantras that I stick to in dealing with those who don’t like me. You see, we live in a society where we are constantly pitted against each other by those above us. In education, we are told that the better grades get better options with careers. In careers, those who perform better go further. In money, the richer are stereotyped to do better and those in worst off situations are called a sob story. On Instagram, the more beautiful of us get the most likes and those who are funniest get the most shares. We are constantly pitted against each other, yet we never realise that underneath everything, we all have the same skeleton. Yet we are the same skeletons that pit ourselves against others in a world where that is already done for us.
I have lived the best of life and I have also lived some of the worst of life. I’m not sure if that makes me the honest person who prefers to stand on his own, but in doing so it has meant that I can roll off the shit and know that other peoples opinions will never change my own truth. Facebook has become the toxic playground that people feed off. It has become a forum of status updates throwing shade and sly digs at other people, most of the time without the full story and sometimes with the cry for attention to a situation that needs no attention. The phrase ‘a mountain out of a molehill’ always strikes me when I read such statuses.
My message to each and everyone of you today is to stop pitting people against people in a society where we are already in enough competition. Get bitter, not better, and realise that in order for your own candle to shine as bright as it possibly can, you need to focus on yourself. It says more about a person that hates you than it does about you.
Oh, and remember that Facebook does not give you the excuse to exist in a high school situation where we can all be playground bullies.
At the end of the day, as long as you are yourself and you are true to that cause then nobody has the right to bring you down with words.
Hate the world and the world will realise it’s because you hate yourself. Love the world and the world will love you back, unconditionally.