Friendship. One of the most sacred bonds that two can share. They say friends are the family you choose yourself. Friends are the people who share our most personal of moments, they pick us up when we have fallen. Some know the depths that we wouldn’t dare tell our parents. They hold our hands us through daring moments and pull us back from danger. Yes friends are an incredible existence, but the truth is that they’re not necessarily forever.
I am a long-term believer that we are meant to have certain people in our lives, I have made that no secret over the last three years. I believe that people come into our lives at the right time to teach us lessons, guide us on our journeys and lighten the load that life sometimes places on our backs.
Take my most recent friendship group from university. We met on enrolment day and a couple of weeks in we discovered that we had mixed in similar circles for a while. I work with one of their family friends and my brother has played football with the other – all the time we were unaware of each others existence until one day we found ourselves sharing the same journey. We clicked really quickly and we’re already looking for somewhere to live together. I jokingly call us a tripod – not only because we work with cameras on our course, but because we prop each other up. Each of us provide something that helps balance the other two and so we perfectly stand together. It’s quite refreshing really.
So, with my new friends and my new journey, I have found myself with a new outlook on socializing. I feel refreshed.
And whilst friendships can blossom in the most natural of environments, I feel that they can also travel in the opposite direction. Slowly, we begin to fray at the ends, trying so desperately to stitch it all back together for fear of it completely coming loose. But over the last few months, I’ve realised that it’s perfectly normal to let bonds break sometimes.
You see, we meet people at a certain time in our lives, and whether you believe that we are destined to meet them at that specific moment in time – or whether you believe that the two of you just happen to share the same interests and therefore allow natural friendship to blossom, one inevitable thing happens; you both grow.
Our generation is so caught up in this ideology that we have to have a companion, something I touched upon with my last post. Whether it be a lover or a friend, many of us seem to fear being alone – I know I have been the biggest representation of that and whilst I think it is perfectly normal, I think it’s important to remember that it’s also natural.
It doesn’t mean that you hate each other. It doesn’t mean that the two of you cannot remain in each others lives and it certainly doesn’t mean that some huge disagreement needs to have taken place. Sometimes, as you grow, you grow in different directions. Your needs change, priorities take hold and life just separates you.
And that doesn’t have to be a negative process, either. You can still cheer from the sidelines, you can still look back on your story with a positive outlook. It just means that you no longer share the direct lines that once bound you.
I believe that this is a change which we just have to acknowledge and live alongside. Mentally, it can be so draining trying to raise a sinking ship. It can add unnecessary weight and pressure to an already hectic life. We sometimes feel the need to protect ourselves from being the ‘bad guy’ and in doing so we sacrifice a little bit of our own happiness.
I’m not saying that you should look around you and start cutting ties with friends you haven’t seen in weeks. Nor am I saying that I am personally experiencing this change. I just think that it’s a fundamental process that we could maybe try fighting less and start embracing more. I have been on a bit of a soul-searching journey this year, and I’ve slowly realised that we as a society need to stop holding back our own process in order to benefit other people.
We are individual people who just happen to be sharing the same planet at the same time. Whether something mystical brings us together or not, we need to keep a grip on our own identity. After all, it’s what makes us….us.
If you didn’t know, I have been nominated for a UK Blog Award 2019 in the mental health category. It would mean the absolute world to me if you could pop me a vote (it only takes 10 seconds). Thank you for your continued support on this wonderful journey x.
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